Today, February 18, I am rejoicing in this life I have been given--this "second chance" on life. On this day when I was 17, I survived a terrible car accident which resulted in a Traumatic Brain Injury and coma.

Though many years have passed, I still wake up on this anniversary of the accident with thankfulness simply for the fact that "today I woke up!"

And…

I sat up, walked, showered, dressed, spoke, and ate independently! I was able to relate to others with confidence and decorum. Today I have the ability to run a business with my husband, to serve others, to live a functional life and raise two amazing children. I am even able to run half marathons and have trained for at least a half dozen. Goodness, I even can clean my house without assistance. That is something for which to be thankful, too; it's all a matter of perspective!

Though I wake up to this reality today, there were months, years even, of difficulty and isolation. I survived the accident; however, I faced a long, difficult recovery: physically, cognitively and relationally. I recovered physical abilities through a lot of determination and hard work. I re-learned how to talk, eat, tie my shoe, read, walk, run. However, the cognitive and psychosocial recovery was much more slow, much more unseen, much more painful. When I returned to school for my senior year, I was unable to relate to my classmates and friends at an age-appropriate level. I faced rejection, loneliness and misunderstanding. My senior year of high school was the most difficult year of my life.

But in the times of darkness and pain, I clung to HOPE.

Do you face pain, sadness, rejection, sickness? Though it is so easy to live in the moment--to dwell in the pain--keep looking ahead! This is Hope!

Hope, however, based solely in positive thinking or expectation, only circles back around to self-focus and can easily be distorted. This temporal hope may aid in moving toward a goal, but Hope Eternal moves toward and beyond a goal.

Hope Eternal is based upon the only Eternal One, who intimately knows our pain. The Eternal One who does not change. The One who will forgive, heal and prepare a future for us. The One who has plans which, though incomprehensible, are beyond our greatest expectations. This Eternal Hope is found in Jesus Christ, the Son of God. Every single breath, every beat of my heart is given by His grace.

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. For we know that if the earthly [body] we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands” (2 Corinthians 4:16-5:1).

Truth be told, if on February 18, 1995 I had died, the Eternal Hope I clung to even then would have created for me a glorious end. Though no longer on earth, I would be truly alive today, in my Eternal Home in heaven. This day, however, I live a blessed life here on earth. This day I am eternally thankful. This day I have an Eternal Hope!

I share these thoughts with expectation that they may provide needed encouragement for others who face difficulty. It would be my pleasure to listen to any challenge you face and to share more about the hope that can be found in Christ. Please don’t hesitate to contact me privately.

May God be glorified as I live each day in the blessings he has given!

Aug 17, 2017

Tonight my husband and I were discussing a difficult parenting situation. Feeling defeated,  I happened to glance out my bedroom door and see the 2nd story widows I worked so hard to clean today. 

I commented that despite my frustration with our parenting troubles, "At least the windows are clean!" I put effort into something [washed the windows], and it made a difference! [I can now see that there are indeed neighbors' homes sorrounding ours]

At times it seems I put so much time, effort, energy and prayer into a parenting issue and see little to no progress-and usually backwards progress! I rarely, if ever, have seen immediate results in the marathon of this parenting journey.

God sparked in my mind a thought as I observed the clean windows. (Okay, so maybe I am taking too much pride in the fact that I washed those windows for the first time in a year. But, gimme a break. I have to get out the ladder, squeegee and an extension wand) 

Anyway...I was reminded to keep my eyes focused not on the current plight-lack of progress and this discipline dilemma -but look to the Lord and hope in Him. I must trust him to develop in my child to the behaviors I cannot yet, but hope to see. Trust in Him to grant me much needed wisdom. 

Unlike my now-sparkling windows, I can't spray a kid with Windex and immediately wipe away whatever is marring up his little soul. Immediate gratification is not a reward for even the wisest of parenting strategies. 

I must simply press on: prayerfully seeking wisdom for parenting; adjusting and readjusting according to my child's changing needs; trusting in the Lord's provision. I must place my hope in Him, not in my own efforts.

Truly, my kids were entrusted to me by God. It is a holy work to raise them. My hope and prayer is that they will bring glory to God and show His love to others in the years to come. 

As I strive to raise godly kids, I am reminded of the Apostle Paul's encouragement to the church at Corinth.

Therefore...stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

1 Corinthians 15:58 NIV

May God always be most glorified. 

Life Restored

For me, February 18 each year begins a season of thankfulness for Life and for the undeserved grace of God I was blessed to experience. When I was 17 I came so close to death-and in many ways was reborn-this February day. In an instant, my every physical, cognitive, emotional and relational competency was lost. I was cradled in my Creator's hands as I began the long road to healing.
God's gracious gifts of hope and faith, along with a deepened friendship with Jesus, carried me through dark times over the following months and years (Jn. 15:15, Ro. 5:3-5). Praise, praise, praise God for His healing power and the second chance at life I was given; may I live every second of this life for His glory!  My friends, BELIEVE in, RELY on His grace, His mercy, His love, His healing, His redemption!! His plan is often not what we think is best for us, yet He - Always - Is - Faithful. He has crafted a story for Every single person, and though this story is beyond our understanding, it also exceeds our greatest expectations (Is 55:6-12; Phil. 1:6, Eph. 3:14-21).
Wouldn't it be wonderful if God brought me back from the brink of death all for the purpose of revealing His Truth to YOU? Trust in His great plan, dear friend! Turn to Him, He is gracious to forgive and desires to bring wholeness and healing to the broken places in your heart!! I IN NO WAY REGRET the season of pain I endured; if only through my pain some may know Christ.
You can watch the video expertly crafted by the media team at cccomaha for a "longer short version" of my story. Please contact me if you want to hear more.  Even more, get in touch if you feel drawn to God through my story but are not sure where to go from here. May you be blessed and may God be glorified!

https://vimeo.com/102533625

King Triton: A Portrait of God?

My six year old was happily surprised when, after watching The Little Mermaid tonight, I told her that for our devotion tonight we would be talking about Ariel. My heart was happy that she could quickly identify King Triton as representation of God. He ruled over the sea, he loved his daughter and had her best in mind. My daughter also could see how Ursula, the sea witch, represented Satan. She wanted the King's position, to rule over the sea and its creatures. 

Ariel, I explained, also represents someone in God's story: you and me. The young mermaid chased after and was enamored by what she desired. She wandered from her father's safe boundary and found herself drawn to the charming Prince Eric. She became so enamored with Eric that she willing to sell her voice to the Sea Witch and thus become her "slave" for the temporary and conditional "gift" of human legs. Of course, Ursula was playing Ariel all along, and through trickery and deceit, she would not allow Ariel to succeed. Try as she may, Ariel was unable to meet Ursula's conditions and win Eric's heart, represented by true love's first kiss. According to the agreement, Ursula could then turn Ariel into a miserable, wailing weed stuck to the ocean floor. 

Satan draws us, too, with things that appear to be irresistible. The father of lies does not deceive us with his true identity of death and destruction. Instead, we are drawn to our "too good to be true" Prince Eric. The apparent promise of happiness allows Satan to draw us in, away from God's best, and ultimately it leads to misery and death. 

"The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Ro. 6:23).

My daughter recently quoted this verse for her AWANA Sparks class. I was able to explain that Ariel's choices were not King Triton's best for her, just like sometimes we choose something that is not God's best for us--sin. The result of our sin, like the result of Ariel's choices, leads us to big time trouble. "But the gift of God is eternal life.." Ariel received a free gift, too. Her father took her place; he took her punishment and became a miserable sea weed in her place. We receive God's free gift of eternal life because we have no way to get out of the trouble our sin has caused for us. He took the punishment we deserve, but that's not the end!

Satan, death and sin could not defeat our Holy God. He rose again and brings us life. King Triton, similarly, did not remain a miserable sea weed. He turned back into the King and gave to Ariel a life better than she could have hoped for!

Each and every story that has the essential elements of a plot can be aligned with God's One Perfect Story. The main character, the villian, the crisis, the Savior. God is Truth, and His great story of salvation is reflected in so many aspects of life. 

In much simpler terms I attempted to explain how God's story of salvation is reflected in a story she loves, and I think she understood. My hope is that she will come to see God's truth in everything around her! "We should do more devotions like that, mom!" my baby girl whispered as I tucked her into bed.

May we also daily seek and find His Truth in every situation! 

Running in Circles

As a mother of young kids, I often find completing one simple task can take hours. For example, adding that sock to the laundry I remembered seeing under Jake's bed can take half a day. That is, by the time I get a drink for Kayla, clean up the PBJ sandwich Jake thought he could make by himself, re-make PBJ sandwiches for hungry kids, peel carrots, slice an apple, pour milk, prepare some parts of dinner because I'm in the kitchen anyway, make a list of needed ingredients I thought I already had for dinner tomorrow, pick up the Connect Four game I trip over walking to the stairs, move all the living room furniture to find the lost yellow Connect Four piece, not actually find it, but instead discover a list of new supplies Kayla needs for her art project at school, scramble to gather the supplies, go back and try to find my list of needed ingredients to add red beads and glitter glue for Kayla's project, finally go to Jake's room and remember that I still need to wash his sheets because he uncharacteristically wet his bed last night, bring the sheets to the washer, then remember that I need to go get that sock I saw under Jake's bed. So begins round two.

This example is not too far from the truth many days. By the end of the day, I am exhausted from running in circles. I get so distracted by other pressing "needs" that I seem to get nothing accomplished. Or maybe I accomplish everything besides what I actually intend to do. The distraction affects not only accomplishing tasks, but extends to living life as a godly wife, mother, friend and child of God.

I had a particularly rough day recently. I was torn emotionally. By the evening I was pulled in so many directions, and as a result I felt I was not fulfilling my role of wife, mother, business partner or any other roles in any suitable way. 

The "demon" on my shoulder was whispering, "You're a failure. Why do you even try? You can't do anything well. You are doing more harm than good. You, You, You..." The devil always draws focus on me, myself, my inadequacy.

The evil one wants to distract my focus and skew my true identity in Christ. If I focus on what I can (or cannot) do rather than what my Great God wants to accomplish by His own power through me, I will always feel overwhelmed, defeated and discouraged.

In tears, I wrote in my prayer journal expressing my thoughts to God. He gently reminded me, "Cast your cares on me, because I care for you." I later looked up the word translated cares in the original Greek.

Read below the definition of the word the Greek word, merimna, translated care or anxiety in 1 Peter 5:7. What a blessed discovery this was for me!

Care (Noun and Verb), Careful, Carefully, Carefulness

[ A-1,Noun,G3308, merimna ] 

probably connected with merizo, to draw in different directions, distract," hence signifies "that which causes this, a care, especially an anxious care,"Matthew 13:22; Mark 4:19; Luke 8:14; Luke 21:34; 2 Corinthians 11:28 (RV, "anxiety for"); 1 Peter 5:7 (RV, "anxiety"). See ANXIETY.  (Vine's: Care)

Distract. Draw in different directions. 

The definition of care, the very Greek word in 1 Peter 5:7, exactly matched the anxiety I was facing. I literally felt pulled in so many opposing directions. This tension left me feeling inadequate and unproductive. 

I love God's word! I love how God speaks to me in such precise ways through the Scripture. I love how I can read and study one single phrase many, many times, yet still discover a hidden treasure therein at just the needed moment!

So I got my head on straight, submitted my anxieties to God, and told the demon on my shoulder, "God in me is the Ruler and Creator of the Universe. Through Him I have been given 'everything I need for life and godliness.' I have purpose and have been called to 'participate in His divine nature;' I have been given direction and purpose through His overflowing glory and goodness!" (see 2 Pe 2:1-4).

The demon fled quickly, and I think he was limping! Or he might have just tripped on that lost Connect Four token!

"It's Not Wrong, It's Just Different"

On Saturday evening, after a long day of traveling, we had arrived in Playa del Carmen, Mexico to begin a fun, relaxing week of family vacation on the beach. Of course there were the momentary stressors; the "I didn't plan it this way" reactions. The kids had a day full of too much screen time and too little food with any nutritional value! I couldn't find things which I knew I had packed, and my spouse wasn't living up to my (unrealistic) expectations.

So goes vacation: "Day 1/2" (that's the first evening after traveling, before I get my mind around all things new and different.)

As I opened my Bible the next morning to continue reading though Matthew, I asked God to speak to me in light of my negative attitude. "Open my eyes that I may see wonderful things in your law" (Ps. 119:18).

At that time Jesus went through the grainfields on the Sabbath. His disciples were hungry and began to pick some heads of grain and eat them. ² When the Pharisees saw this, they said to him, “Look! Your disciples are doing what is unlawful on the Sabbath.”...⁹ Going on from that place, he went into their synagogue, ¹⁰ and a man with a shriveled hand was there. Looking for a reason to bring charges against Jesus, they asked him, “Is it lawful to heal on the Sabbath?” ¹¹ He said to them, “If any of you has a sheep and it falls into a pit on the Sabbath, will you not take hold of it and lift it out? ¹² How much more valuable is a person than a sheep!Therefore it is lawful to do good on the Sabbath.”¹³ Then he said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.” So he stretched it out and it was completely restored, just as sound as the other. (Matthew 12:1,2,9,10-13).

Well, God certainly reminded me that my expectations of how things "should" be might be quite different in the face of reality! It is the people I am serving, in this case, my family, who are much more important than my agenda. My flexibility and mindset fixed on the bigger picture was more needful than healthy meals and structured activities from the get-go. In the same way, Jesus didn't bend to the Pharisees' expectations at the expense of those who relied on and needed him, even though the Pharisees' were attempting to enforce what they saw as God's Holy Laws.

From my first experience with foreign travel many years ago, I learned the lesson, "It's not wrong, it's just different." I guess I need to remember this truth: not only with application to others, but also toward myself! I need to be mindful of something I tell my kids all the time, "get a better attitude and we will all be happier!" I needed to relax, adjust my expectations, and allow non-vital matters to work themselves out.

As I'm writing this, we are completing Day three of vacation, and today was blissfully relaxing, joyfully sunny, and definitely a treasured memory!